The sound of the Airbus 310 changed from a whine to a roar as it hurtled down the nine thousand feet runway, its nose poised for flight. The markers on the asphalt blurred into one continuous white line, the coconut palms transformed into a dynamic Impressionistic canvas of tropical fecundity, the principles of aerodynamics took over and we were airborne!
Kozhikode airport receded rapidly to a mere speck on terra firma as the Air India flight to Dubai climbed to its cruising altitude. If I leaned forward from my jump seat I could just see the blue waters of the Arabian Sea lapping at the white sands far below, quickly disappearing below the tail wings. Most of the passengers sitting next to a window seat were also watching their native land slip away, immersed in their own thoughts. They were leaving their families behind, perhaps for an extended period, to work in an alien land of sand dunes and shopping malls, far removed from the comforting sounds of paddy fields and mountain streams, the bright blue flash of a kingfisher diving into an emerald lake and coming up with a glittering silver fish in its red beak. "God's Own Country", proclaimed the state's glossy tourism brochures and yet most of its inhabitants had to leave its shores to find economic salvation.
Kozhikode airport receded rapidly to a mere speck on terra firma as the Air India flight to Dubai climbed to its cruising altitude. If I leaned forward from my jump seat I could just see the blue waters of the Arabian Sea lapping at the white sands far below, quickly disappearing below the tail wings. Most of the passengers sitting next to a window seat were also watching their native land slip away, immersed in their own thoughts. They were leaving their families behind, perhaps for an extended period, to work in an alien land of sand dunes and shopping malls, far removed from the comforting sounds of paddy fields and mountain streams, the bright blue flash of a kingfisher diving into an emerald lake and coming up with a glittering silver fish in its red beak. "God's Own Country", proclaimed the state's glossy tourism brochures and yet most of its inhabitants had to leave its shores to find economic salvation.
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| Airbus A310 on the tarmac at Kozhikode airport |
For the passenger seated on seat 23A (Mr.X), the immediate concern was to drown his melancholy in a rapid and copious intake of liquor as the service trolleys trundled down the twin aisles. Half an hour later the trolleys trundled out again, this time dispensing the lunch trays. The combination of booze and biryani strained the digestive apparatus of Mr.X to such an extent that a stream of rice, chunks of chicken, bits of vegetable matter and spices sprayed forth from his mouth, riding on a million molecules of whiskey as if launched by an aerosol can, effectively coating the head and neck of Mr.Y seated on seat 22 A. This was followed by a second deluge, the contents clouding the Plexiglas of the window and depositing a gooey mess on the carpet at the floor of Mr.X.
Pandemonium broke out in the cabin. It was time for disaster management. A quick conclave of the crew in the galley followed and with the advice and support of my colleague and assistant, I confronted Mr.X. Human Rights activists are going to frown on what happened next.
"Can I have your ticket, boarding pass and passport?" I said in my best Gestapo accent, deliberately omitting compromising words like "please" and "sir".
To my utter surprise, he handed over these documents meekly. "These will be given to the police in Dubai when we land," I said. "Meanwhile, take these tissues and clean up the mess on the carpet and the window and your fellow passenger." I walked away towards the front of the aircraft and disappeared behind the curtains cordoning off the Business Class section.
Half an hour later I returned to the galley to find three passengers who might have been friends of Mr.X pleading with my colleague. "Please, sir," they said, "please return his passport.....he will be imprisoned otherwise...we assure you he will be sober for the rest of the flight." We shook our heads and kept the charade going. This little drama had the desired effect. Mr.X cleaned up the window and the carpet; he apologised profusely to Mr.Y and to us and took an oath never to get drunk on a flight again. Of course we returned his documents just before landing into Dubai and wished him well!
What I have just narrated is perhaps the worst case I have seen in my 28 year career as a flight attendant. I always viewed the serving of liquor on board a flight with mixed feelings.
Back in the late seventies and early eighties, the airline experimented with all sorts of protocols, including one which prohibited the serving of liquor to passengers flying a domestic sector on an international route, due in part to the rules of the Indian Customs department. Many domestic passengers would cajole an international passenger sitting next to them to request a drink on their behalf!
Over the years, many changes to the rules were made :
Many instances of unruly behaviour, aggression and causing a nuisance in the cabin could be directly attributed to the consumption of liquor.
The intake of liquor at 30,000 feet in a pressurised metal tube has always been a cause for concern. Can you imagine the scene during an emergency evacuation when a hundred inebriated souls are trying to jump out of the emergency exits in the precious seconds before the aircraft is engulfed in flames or explodes? If drinking and driving is regulated throughout the world, how come there seem to be no laws governing the serving of liquor on flights? Is alcohol an appropriate nourishment for a bus load of passengers? Would you drive a minivan full of your friends with a case of beer being passed around? P(o)ints to ponder over!
Decades ago, smoking on board a flight was permitted and fairly common. For health and safety reasons we learnt to live and fly in a smoke free zone. I am waiting for the smoke to clear on the contentious issue of airline alcohol! Cheers!
Here are some links to other airline stories on this topic :
The remedial measures taken that I have described pales before the first incident below!
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/drunk-passenger-duct-taped-gagged-aboard-flight-article-1.1233554
Pandemonium broke out in the cabin. It was time for disaster management. A quick conclave of the crew in the galley followed and with the advice and support of my colleague and assistant, I confronted Mr.X. Human Rights activists are going to frown on what happened next.
"Can I have your ticket, boarding pass and passport?" I said in my best Gestapo accent, deliberately omitting compromising words like "please" and "sir".
To my utter surprise, he handed over these documents meekly. "These will be given to the police in Dubai when we land," I said. "Meanwhile, take these tissues and clean up the mess on the carpet and the window and your fellow passenger." I walked away towards the front of the aircraft and disappeared behind the curtains cordoning off the Business Class section.
Half an hour later I returned to the galley to find three passengers who might have been friends of Mr.X pleading with my colleague. "Please, sir," they said, "please return his passport.....he will be imprisoned otherwise...we assure you he will be sober for the rest of the flight." We shook our heads and kept the charade going. This little drama had the desired effect. Mr.X cleaned up the window and the carpet; he apologised profusely to Mr.Y and to us and took an oath never to get drunk on a flight again. Of course we returned his documents just before landing into Dubai and wished him well!
What I have just narrated is perhaps the worst case I have seen in my 28 year career as a flight attendant. I always viewed the serving of liquor on board a flight with mixed feelings.
Back in the late seventies and early eighties, the airline experimented with all sorts of protocols, including one which prohibited the serving of liquor to passengers flying a domestic sector on an international route, due in part to the rules of the Indian Customs department. Many domestic passengers would cajole an international passenger sitting next to them to request a drink on their behalf!
Over the years, many changes to the rules were made :
- If you were a First Class or a Business Class passenger, the drinks were complimentary.
- Alcohol could be purchased for consumption in the Economy Class. Later, the fee was waived as the airline had to compete with other carriers who were waiving the Free Liquor card at prospective passengers.
- A quota system was introduced for Economy Class passengers : you could only have 2 drinks! Needless to add, many found this limit rather muzzled their enormous appetites!
Many instances of unruly behaviour, aggression and causing a nuisance in the cabin could be directly attributed to the consumption of liquor.
Times have changed, of course. With the advent of the so-called "No Frills" aviation sector, thankfully the airline industry seems to have realised its main reason for existence : to provide a safe, comfortable and efficient means of getting from point A to point B. For those who expect a wide selection and endless supply of booze, the local pub should be the natural choice.
The intake of liquor at 30,000 feet in a pressurised metal tube has always been a cause for concern. Can you imagine the scene during an emergency evacuation when a hundred inebriated souls are trying to jump out of the emergency exits in the precious seconds before the aircraft is engulfed in flames or explodes? If drinking and driving is regulated throughout the world, how come there seem to be no laws governing the serving of liquor on flights? Is alcohol an appropriate nourishment for a bus load of passengers? Would you drive a minivan full of your friends with a case of beer being passed around? P(o)ints to ponder over!
Decades ago, smoking on board a flight was permitted and fairly common. For health and safety reasons we learnt to live and fly in a smoke free zone. I am waiting for the smoke to clear on the contentious issue of airline alcohol! Cheers!
Here are some links to other airline stories on this topic :
The remedial measures taken that I have described pales before the first incident below!
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/drunk-passenger-duct-taped-gagged-aboard-flight-article-1.1233554
All for this wonderful line of thought.
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